Under Review: Cadillac Editon

"Andrew Seifert" (andrewseifert) 09/07/2013 at 08:00 • Filed to: Cadillac

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Today's featured carmaker is one of GM's oldest and most prestigous brands. For many years it was known for making large, floaty sedans that felt like your grandma's living roomLaZboy....comfortable but defenitely not attractive or stylish. In the last decade, however, Cadillac has radically changed their game.

Why Cadillac Is the Best Carmaker Ever: Starting in 2002 with the debut of the CTS, Cadillac successfully transformed its dull, uninspiring lineup of Malaise Era holdouts into a capable roster that no longer exclusively catered to elderly people. The new ATS and the !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! are eye-catching, dynamic sedans that should raise the bar even higher for Cadillac in the years to come.

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The V-series has become capable rivals to BMW's M division and the AMG 'Benz.

The stunning !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! concept generated a lot of buzz recently. It's rumored that Cadillac may be working on a Mercedes S-Class fighter, and the Elmiraj could be a possible indication of what it would look like.

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Why Cadillac Absolutely Sucks : For years, all Cadillac had to offer was bloated, obsolete sedans and an overpriced Tahoe with extra chrome and leather. And then there was the infamous Cimarron, which everybody wants to forget. Fortunately, those days appear to be behind us.

Breadwinner: Cadillac's lone CUV offering is the SRX. Predictably, it's the big seller in the Caddy lineup, with 57,845 units leaving dealer lots in 2012.

Instant Classic: The CTS-V wagon. Since its introduction in 2010, the V wagon has been a slow seller, even for a niche performance car. So far, it's accounted for a mere !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! of total CTS sales. It's rumored that a wagon version of the next-gen CTS may not happen at all, which means the 2011-2013 CTS V wagons could possibly achieve desirable status in the future. For now, the used ones will be gathering dust on car lots but they offer a fantastic bargain for performance wagon enthusiasts.

The One We All Want: There should be a revamped CTS coupe to go with the new sedan. So far, we have receive no indication of what it will look like, but if the sedan is to be believed, the coupe should be a show stopper as well as a competent driver's car. The V version should be interesting as well with the possibility of a new twin-turbo V6.

Forgettable: Remember the XLR? Cadillac's failed attempt at creating a luxury two-seater? It was a retooled Corvette that cost easily $40K more than its cousin while offering none of the performance benefits. It was was easily General Motor's most expensive vehicle at the time of its 2003 introduction and it never sold well, with only 876 units finding buyers in 2009 (its final year).

Final Take : Cadillac experienced a major turnaround 10 years ago. It continues to this day with the new CTS sedan just around the corner, as well as the possibility of a flagship luxury sedan to succeed the Deville/DTS. With former archival Lincoln dead in the water, Cadillac has once again become America's foremost luxury carmaker.

Any questions or comments? Post them below!

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > Andrew Seifert 09/07/2013 at 08:12

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But honestly..

I Do want the XLR if the car has slightly more power. 600hp from a Corvette ZR1 maybe?

*Or just simply build the damn Sixteen, cadillac.

GhostZ > Andrew Seifert 09/07/2013 at 08:20

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The One We All Want: There should be a revamped CTS coupe to go with the new sedan.

I hope it looks like this.

Cadillac is a growing luxury car market. They used to be the standard of the world, and I will always be disappointed in them until they can make a car that can compete with Rolls Royce.

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > Andrew Seifert 09/07/2013 at 10:36

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I don't give a fuck what have to you say, I really really really really really like the 4th gen Seville.

BeaterGT > Andrew Seifert 09/07/2013 at 10:39

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Best memory is in an XLR. Friend's dad was out of town....we were out on the town!

Vaughnhayes > Andrew Seifert 09/07/2013 at 10:53

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I'm sorry "definitely not attractive or stylish." I must ask you sir...ARE YOU ON CRACK, the 40s? The 50s? The 60s? My god man, it's as if you knew nothing of cars.

M54B30 > Andrew Seifert 09/07/2013 at 11:00

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I remember when the CTS coupe came out and thinking "holy shit that car is SHARP" but after about two weeks went by and I saw 14,329 more it looked "old" already.

I love their turnaround with Art & Science and hope they can maintain their pace. My favorite far and away was the 05-11 STS and I would've traded or sold my bimmer in a heartbeat for one.

XJguy > Andrew Seifert 09/07/2013 at 11:02

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Not comfortable or stylish????...WTF are you talking about. They were too comfortable and were very stylish. What they were not was nimble, or suitable for spirited driving in the modern sense. Highway cruising when roads were not busting at the seams is where these land yachts shined.

This is not stylish??????

bobrayner > Andrew Seifert 09/07/2013 at 11:04

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Elmiraj? If the concept has 2 doors then it's better (but still optimistic) to call it a CL-fighter. If they lengthen the platform and add two more doors then it might be called an S-class rival. The CL is the 2-door coupe version of the S.

ptak appreciates old racecars > Andrew Seifert 09/07/2013 at 11:04

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inb4 comments with Cadillac Sixteen with captions, "CADILLAC, WHY CAN'T YOU BUILD THIS"

CHuber > Andrew Seifert 09/07/2013 at 11:08

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...they offer a fantastic bargain for performance wagon enthusiasts.

Have you looked at prices recently? Please direct me to these "huge bargains," as I would love to pick up a CTSV Wagon, but I can't seem to find one for under 50k.

Doug DeMuro > CHuber 09/07/2013 at 11:16

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I'll sell you one for $40k!

G8GT364 > Andrew Seifert 09/07/2013 at 11:20

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There should be a revamped CTS coupe to go with the new sedan. So far, we have receive no indication of what it will look like, but if the sedan is to be believed, the coupe should be a show stopper as well as a competent driver's car. The V version should be interesting as well with the possibility of a new twin-turbo V6.

TTV6 in the CTS-V wont happen. The ATS-V is getting that engine. The new CTS-V should have a S/C'd LT1.(Or if rumors are true, a TTV8)

GhostZ > CHuber 09/07/2013 at 11:27

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I think he means compared to an RS4 Avant and E63 AMG Wagon. Really, I have no idea how you could justify the CTS-V Wagon as "a bargain" since so many performance wagons aren't sold in the US . They sort of have the market cornered here.

It's a bargain for the performance, but it is not a bargain for the utility. There is a huge premium for having your cake and eating it too.

RoadToad > Andrew Seifert 09/07/2013 at 11:29

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The only thing I dont like about this post is that it forgets Caddy's majority past, ie: Everything before 1975.

472CID > GhostZ 09/07/2013 at 11:34

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Cadillac has never really competed with Rolls Royce. I'm sure they'd rather sell 100,000 cars for $70k than 100 cars for 300k.

MooseKnuckles > Andrew Seifert 09/07/2013 at 11:36

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There is no other major brand that I am a bigger fan of. Every single car they sell today, and every conquest buyer they get is well deserved. In the height of GM's Endocephalocolonopathy (head up ones ass) they managed to recreate Cadillac almost as perfectly as anyone else could have.
I owned a first gen 2006 CTS, had the 3.6L at 255hp. I loved and still love that body. It looks so slim, slender, and sleek compared to the second gen (I am fan of it too, dont get me wrong). Sure it had it's short comings compared to the the competition. But it was well priced, and didn't need premium gas lol. Even the auto trans in mine was good. Never had a problem with it, not once, the engine did drink a little oil (about half a quart between 10000km oil changes). It had everything it need to be a new player in the compact-midsize luxury game and looked new/good/*different* to anything else. The Art & Science design was kind of like going to a cocktail party, there's BMW and Audi wearing black, oh and Benz is being wild and wearing grey, Toyota is over there wearing a designer dress, oh wait that's Lexus. But then there's Cadillac, in a red dress and sneakers showing up late and not sticking to convention.

Radioactive_Lego > GhostZ 09/07/2013 at 11:37

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I don't see Caddy attempting to compete w/ Rolls, Bentley, ect. Those companies pretty much hand- make a car outside of a basic chassis provided by some germans. Making even 30% of a car by hand, in the U.S. is extraordinarily expensive, and to be perfectly honest, I think there's a real talent gap here.

I think your best bet is an aftermarket/partner company willing to step line Caddys up to the next level, the way Alpina, Maybach, Brabus do.

RosarchII > Andrew Seifert 09/07/2013 at 11:44

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I like the XLR and they seem to be somewhat collectible, there are 3 in my neighborhood alone, two regular and one XLR-V.

I disagree that the V series is a rival to M or AMG, maybe if you have never been inside one before. The CTS-V has a cheap interior, those Recaro seats are awful and that Alcantara steering wheel is terrible. Over time also the car will not hold up well. There is a reason the car is priced where it is, it is not a bargain, it is priced appropriately.

The new Escalade should be excellent, they will sell a ton of them. The reality is that even though the Range Rover is nicer, if you want to have a nice showy vehicle that can carry you, your wife, a couple of kids and your parents and still carry stuff and tow a boat or trailer, then the Escalade is really the only choice. The QX is ugly, so is the GL and the Range just can't do it.

As an S Class owner and I have owned a couple, there is no such thing as an S Class fighter. To become an S Class fighter you would have to spend the money to match the quality of the materials and tech of the S Class, and that costs S Class money, and at that point you are just going to buy an S Class. Even the A8 and 7 series are not on par, and the gap widened even more with the new S.

Eyaare > Andrew Seifert 09/07/2013 at 11:51

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It really is annoying that you've made the same mistake everyone does when they talk about Cadillac - conveniently forgetting what a great and important car the Escalade was.

Cadillac's new design language began on Escalade, a year before the CTS came out. And talk to any of the 70+ traditional Cadillac buyers, I bet you they don't like Escalade. It was hip, cool, and it carried this outdated brand into the 21st century, and switched the focus to cool and sharp instead of round, large and lame. At the very least, it doesn't deserve to be paired with the shitty FWD sedans that were doing more harm than good.

And CTS coupe? How about an ATS coupe first?

GhostZ > Radioactive_Lego 09/07/2013 at 11:52

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Oh, I know it's not going to happen, but they could have done it if they hadn't really gone downmarket in the late 70s. America's best luxury brand was a huge casualty of the oil crisis and I doubt they'll ever recover.

HoratioGiovanni > XJguy 09/07/2013 at 11:56

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Seriously. I hate when people act like the ONLY kind of car that is fun to drive is a modded-up Mazda Miata. Getting behind the wheel of a massive old luxury sedan is a different kind of fun altogether. You feel like you own the road. Big, powerful and super comfy, and no matter what generation Caddy you drive, they almost always turn heads because they're big and bold and a part of Americana. Regardless of how good their cars were, people always identified Cadillac as the "Standard of the World" because they were the first to ever be worthy of the title.

Anyway, don't mind me. Just posting a picture of one of the least stylish and attractive cars ever built.

Jartosz > Andrew Seifert 09/07/2013 at 11:57

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Cadillac is still not very stylish, unless you live in the world where the USS Eisenhower is the epitome of style. It's large and clunky. Nothing to get too excited about. If you want large, clunky and just as unstylish, you might as well as get a Lexus.

To be perfectly honest, I may be a Eurosnob, but, Cadillac offers little to me in terms of brand name. The reputation of quality still precedes most American automakers., even though, yes, they have turned that around as of the last few years. None the less, I wouldn't be willing to spend the money on a Cadillac, when I can buy an Audi, Mercedes, BMW, Jaguar or a Volvo for the same amount or just a little more money, with greater luxury and better brand image.

Thats personally my opinion though. I was raised on Lada, FIAT , Moskvitch, GAZ, Trabant and Wartburg's. Cars like Peugeot, Citroën, Renault, Opel, Mercedes, BMW, Volkswagen, Volvo and Audi were all considered the top of the heap in styling and quality. So, I carry on most of that childhood car philosophy.

GhostZ > 472CID 09/07/2013 at 12:01

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1958 Cadillac Eldorado "Series 70" Brougham: $13,074

1958 Rolls Royce Silver Cloud: $13,025 (standard steel body)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cadillac_…

http://www.supercars.net/cars/1690.html

I know that not ALL of their cars "competed" with Rolls Royce, but at least a few did in the 50s and early 60s. I don't know enough about their pre-war models, but I imagine they weren't too bad either.

EDIT: Also, inflation-adjusted both cars were around 100,000$ in today's money. This serves to also show how absurdly expensive luxury cars have gotten since, mostly due to the cheap-to-build-but-expensive-to-buy electronics and increasing R/D costs.

KurtBroz > Andrew Seifert 09/07/2013 at 12:06

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I don't care what the world says, I love the XLR. It is a good-looking car. If I can find one for under 20 grand someday, I will drive the heck out of it.

Seitz > Andrew Seifert 09/07/2013 at 12:13

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I'd say, the only company that has their priorities as straight or more straight than Cadillac is Mazda. Mazda knows what their customers want, they know how to make not only a great driving machine, but a great looking one as well. And the fact that you can get them at a very reasonable price just seals the deal for them.

Aldairion > Andrew Seifert 09/07/2013 at 12:20

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I hope the next CTS Coupe has a rear deck to speak of.

AlwaRightAllTheTime > KurtBroz 09/07/2013 at 12:25

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OK, here you go:

http://detroit.craigslist.org/wyn/cto/403720…

gearboxtrouble > Andrew Seifert 09/07/2013 at 12:40

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This is STILL the first thing that comes to mind when I hear the word Cadillac

RiseVbove > RosarchII 09/07/2013 at 12:50

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Well said!

evil2win > Andrew Seifert 09/07/2013 at 12:58

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I can only assume that Cadillac is actually doing something right for a change. I came of age during the malaise era. The idea that Cadillac could ever build anything but big floaty land-barges driven by doctors in the Midwest and retirees living out their last days in Florida while depreciating faster than a tulip bulb in 1637 seemed impossible to me. I've remained skeptical over the last few years, but it looks like they've actually built something desirable to people that aren't knocking on deaths door. If they've managed pry the image I had of them from from my fossilized brain then they must have really changed. Lincoln should take note and get to work.

TheSmokingTire > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. 09/07/2013 at 13:01

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Another shot at the XLR with a proper drivetrain (meaning, leave the fucking Corvette one alone) would be an excellent idea.

AMC/Renauledge > XJguy 09/07/2013 at 13:15

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Reading comprehension time! This is the quote,

" For many years it was known for making large, floaty sedans that felt like your grandma's living roomLaZboy .... comfortable but defenitely not attractive or stylish"

I think Epic might have been referring to the car pictured. Not the classic '59.

PyramidHat > Andrew Seifert 09/07/2013 at 13:41

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Out near where I work, I see a CTS-V parked on the street...seems that they Plasti-dipped it (flat black). Looks good, but it would look better if they washed the damn thing...

Jarrett - [BRZ Boi] > Andrew Seifert 09/07/2013 at 14:14

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My girlfriend, who knows absolutely nothing automotive related, got a ride in her friend's-dad's XLR, and she wants one based almost exclusively on the styling. I tried explaining to her why that's a poor idea (cost, maintenance of a luxury car, fuel, etc), but ended up with a "okay, we'll check the prices in a few years to see if they'll go down".

472CID > GhostZ 09/07/2013 at 14:29

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Right, the '57 Brougham was a breif (post-war) moment were they went in to the ultra expensive realm. But it's a bit like thinking Lexus is a Lamborghini competitor because of the LFA, not exactly their core business.

I'd love to see Cadillac rise up and build an ultra luxury car that would make Rolls Royce look like a beater, but I'd much rather see them nail down the basics first, (specifically a competent S Class rival).

Johnpbradley3 > Andrew Seifert 09/07/2013 at 14:33

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I recently purchased my first Cadillac - a 2nd Gen SRX4. It is hands down the most comfortable and capable vehicle I've ever owned. I've had some weird (Crossfire, 914), some fun (Mini Cooper S 1st Gen, 2nd Gen Miata), and some fast (Audi S4), but I've really enjoyed this Caddy. My biggest decision moving forward is getting an AWD CTS Wagon if they add one to the new series lineup.

The SRX may not seem like a very fun vehicle to drive, but it is just so capable and confident with whatever is thrown at it - it's a great driving experience every time. It's also got a great interior for four and holds all my skiing gear for an extended weekend (or week) away from home.

Cadillac's decision to produce high quality content across the board has made them competitive and allowed their performance side to come forward - hopefully they can keep it up and avoid some of their mistakes in the past!

MDP310 > TheSmokingTire 09/07/2013 at 15:04

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Every time I think of the XLR, I'm reminded of something Bob Lutz said.

He wanted to build an Escalade with a bonkers supercharged Corvette motor out of the Z06 or something. The bean counters killed it because "Our research shows that people buy Corvettes because it's the most powerful thing we make! If we build that, it would cannibalize Corvette sales!"

Facepalm.

And he said that there was a point where all that defined a Pontiac was that the headrests had holes in them. I guess how Northstar was the Cadillac "thing" and the XLR just HAD to have a Northstar engine.

MDP310 > XJguy 09/07/2013 at 15:09

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HELL YES these are stylish. And they sound like WAR, too. I saw one at a small carshow once and the guy started it and let it idle for a while. You could hear every cylinder ignition coming out the tailpipes. Awesome.

MDP310 > MooseKnuckles 09/07/2013 at 15:18

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I used to be a big Audi fan, but I absolutely LOVE Cadillac now. My grandparents had an 88 Seville that was pretty nice, I remember the digital speedometer was THE COOLEST THING EVER to five-year-old me. But it was build like crap, after 8 years or so the headliner started sagging so bad it almost sat on your head.

I've been considering getting the new GTI when it shows up here, but I might wait another year or so, save up more, and get an ATS. They're just awesome. The only thing that I don't like is that the radio and stuff is a capacitive touch-thing instead of buttons. It LOOKS like buttons, but they don't actually "click."

PardonMyFlemish16 > Andrew Seifert 09/07/2013 at 15:50

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I think Caddy is going about it all wrong. The ATS/CTS will never succeed in Europe- the Euro car market is saturated and sales will continue to taper off. Their two biggest markets, US and China, demand style and value over adherence to the now irrelevant 3/5/7 architecture. This ATS/CTS team would have been the shiz 10, 15 years ago, but the market is totally different now.

What I think Caddy needs is a "Chrysler 300" moment. Instead of aping BMW they need to actually figure out what people want + can afford now and build it. Tech, performance, features, these are all things available either in cheaper cars, other cars, or used cars. They need to bring something to the table that nobody else has. I think something with the drama of an A7 sprinkled with the A&S design language for ~40-50K could do it. They could be bold and call it the Seville. An urban Evoque style crossover and amore dramatically styled larger version could round off their SUV collection. And then on the bottom end... a mini A7 lol. You look at the success of brands like H&M, Zara... and America's unbridled obsession with image... people want STYLE. Style that nothing in Cadillac's line up has. They are about 15 years too late with this lineup... hopefully they get their act together soon, because Lincoln could easily adopt and succeed with the same strategy.

TheSmokingTire > MDP310 09/07/2013 at 16:09

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Which is stupid because the Escalade, the halo car of that decade for them, used an LS motor.

V-wagon > Doug DeMuro 09/07/2013 at 19:06

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Bargain!

Andrew Seifert > GhostZ 09/07/2013 at 19:46

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Exactly. Compared to the other two, it's a bargain. If you're thinking about it for the space, get a RAV4.

Andrew Seifert > XJguy 09/07/2013 at 19:47

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I was thinking more along the lines of Malaise Era. '50s/60s Cadillacs are just too awesome.

Andrew Seifert > 472CID 09/07/2013 at 19:48

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I've always thought of them as BMW/Mercedes rivals. Comparing them to Rolls-Royce is a bit of a stretch, IMO

Cain_Robertson > Andrew Seifert 09/07/2013 at 19:48

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Hey Cadillac, remember that uninspired car you made when this Gen X'r was in kindergarten? Yeah, we'll never let you forget it...because all of the 'good' brands, they've never, ever, brought a stinker to market. Let's play, shall we?

Nissan? Remember those shit 80's Silvias and boulevard-cruising, wannabe C4 Vette, uninspired 300ZX that was supposed to 'improve' upon the original Z formula? Remember the awful Pulsar? The 'meh' Sentra you made pretty much EVERY generation aside from the beloved 'Classic'? The 240SX, your best non-GTR chassis, remember when you just said 'meh, put the Hardbody truck motor in it'?Yeah, we'll not mention THAT in every post about the GTR or 350/370Z, will we? Not to mention the perpetual 'Lincoln of Japan', luxo-also-ran that is 90% of Infiniti products.

Mercedes Benz, remember how you almost never put Manuals in anything, and your automatic was the most fun-sucking one in the world until the 7 speed came out? Remember when you used to build 'heirloom quality' automobiles and lowered quality to not get eaten alive by Lexus? Remember you bringing us the 'Smart' car? Remember how until the AMG CL63 Black came out five minutes ago all your 'hi performance' cars, for all of the technology under the skin, were routinely panned for 'driving like a muscle car', aside from the one that was actually designed by McLaren? Remember that every non-Diesel car you've ever made is a horrendous gas guzzler in it's segment? That's world class engineering.

Toyota, remember those five cars you made in nearly 100 years of operation than wouldn't have worked as a cure for insomnia? Remember those two pretty decent looking ones? Remember your shit-tastic interiors and 'am I driving a Maytag' auto-as-appliance philosophy, seemingly made by people who don't really like cars, for people who don't really like cars?

All of Europe, remember how, in 100 years, you haven't figured out how to make an electrical system that works five minutes after it gets off the lot? Remember how after 94 it only got worse when y'all mandated biodegradable wiring harness insulation, ensuring that many of your cars would be 'parts' status within ten years? Yeah, biodegradable seat cushions totally would not have been a better place to put the mandated material, the wiring loom? Fucking genius.

BMW, remember when your cars were the design standard and were lauded as the best driving cars in the world? Getting further and further in the rearview mirror, the only 'BMW worthy' product you have for sale now bowed half a decade ago, and you'll probably fuck up the 1 series replacement like you did the 5 and 3 series. Remember when you had a beautiful Roadster? Loooooooonnnggg time ago.

Honda, remember when people said you weren't beyond watered down? For a car company who used to have a pretty interesting car in most every segment they offered one in - well, unless you count the Accord until the mid 90's - you've really, truly, horribly dropped the ball, and now, in order to even get the vaporware NSX into production, you're relying on...the British? Remember that the only two really compelling designs from your 'luxury' marque aren't luxury cars at all, but an exotic and a gussied up Civic? Remember how both those cars went away and you decided it doesn't matter, turbocharged SUVs and parrot-beak grilles will save the day? The Japanese can't screw anything up, ever, sheer perfection every. Fucking. Time.

Jaguar, nice E type replacement, only took you nearly 50 years. Oh, but wait, didn't you make a fast car in the 80's, like once, made like a whole dozen of them, too. The Corvette must sell in such numbers because it sucks so hard and there's no market for it, but if you build a 'dream car' and can't find more than a few hundred buyers ever, genius design. Remember when you had to be bought out by Ford to actually have some quality and reliability baked into your cars, and before that, the most reliable part on your cars was the GM-made automatic transmission? Remember your huge contribution to the genre known as 'British Car Jokes'? Good times.

Rolls Royce, remember that Cadillac engine design you plagiarized for your own V8? Remember relying on that ancient design - which, btw, only dumbass, can't engineer anything 'Mercan companies do - from the 50's on up until just recently? Must have been easy to put the TH400 auto behind it that were mainstays of both Rolls and Bentley products for decades, because Lawd knows GM doesn't build ANYTHING world class. And every company makes a trans design so good it can not only do duty in the above, not just in muscle cars, trucks, UPS Trucks, but get used in a majority of drag racing auto transmission applications? Even Ford guys use Powerglides, and it's not like I've seen every engine swapper ever think about the 4L60E/TH700R4 behind whatever engine they were looking at swapping. Nope, no quality here, because 'quality' is only measured in panel gaps, which, btw, the Europeans sucked at too, until the Japanese forced them - as well as the US - to tighten things up to compete.

Ferrari, I'd comment on you, but you're busy putting out a fire, so get back to that.

Audi, remember that one car you actually made that was more reliable than the VW it's probably based on? No? That's because it never happened, and 'German Engineering/Quality' is a bad, bad, horrible, shiv-you-in-the-gut-for-making-it joke to any owner of a used VW, so that's pretty fucking bad. But hey, great interior, I'll enjoy sitting in it and making vroom vroom sounds whilst remembering when it ran correctly.

Porsche, when it comes time to make anything but the 911 and Cayman/Boxster, how come it's a 'typical stupid American drivetrain layout', has a V8 in it, or in the case of the 944, cribbed the rear transaxle idea from the OG Tempest and other GM concepts from then and earlier? Yeah, no good ideas over here in America, too bad we're all just so retarded. Remember those reliable, well built, safe, great, neutral handling original 911s? Because, remember, if it's not MB build quality, completely neutral, and opulently trimmed, it's not a real luxury performance car, and it's not worth the money.

Mazda, remember how your 'engineering prowess' almost bankrupted your company, and if not for Ford the Miata would be a product of a bygone era, as would your entire company? Remember those pretty forgettable sedans you made, the goofy Millennia, the 'damn we fucked up not going the RX7 instead of this awful compromise' RX8? Remember the scores of ugly, uninspired, also-ran cars you've put out over the years? But Miata, and the RX7 was great when this 33 year old was in high school.

I love how Cadillac does the turnaround of the INDUSTRY and basically did everything that any car enthusiast could ask for, aside from, what, an Elise or Miata competitor or a rally car, neither of which are exactly 'Cadillac', but yeah, let's just point out all the failures, and forget that Lexus's, Infinitis, and Mercedes cars were as boring to drive, if not more, from any given era, that Cadillacs actually tend to be fairly reliable for their segment, that the 'malaise' Northstar cars packed 300hp and 30mpg in their 'grandpa mobiles' when most Japanese 'supercars' and 'muscle cars' didn't pack that much heat, and not with that level of efficiency, either, despite the Caddy weighing in like, well, a luxury car. Efficiency only counts in tiny cars shaped like a child's shoe, apparently.

LS400 from the 90's? Worse mileage than my 23mpg highway Roadmaster, which shares that mileage, btw, with the LT1 powered Fleetwood, both of which are guzzlers compared to the 28-30 typical of Northstar equipped vehicles on the highway. Lexus is a friggin' engineering powerhouse by getting 20 mpg out of a 1.7l or .6l smaller engine, respectively, even though the LS400 was only ~3600 lbs. Smaller motor, lighter car, 'better' engineering - because GM sucks. And that attitude? I'm not reading a book written in 1970 that talks about how fashionable it is to fling poo at GM, no sir, this is cutting edge criticism, right here, not antiqued at all.

No car company is perfect, but if I were Cadillac, I might be attempted to say 'fuck it, let them drive Toyotas.' No ATS, CTS, no V, no 558hp six speed manual wagons that are lauded as the best combination of handling and comfort money can buy, no nada. Have fun making anyone who doesn't have a real fetish for Japanese design - aka anime fans and Japanophiles - give a rat's ass about your ugly Lexus's Toyota reliability, because, as any Jaguar, Bentley, Rolls, etc driver will tell you, saving money on maintenance costs - supposedly, as the legend goes, ymmv - is THE driving factor in the luxury market - not like the image of 'not only does he have it, it's kept up and on the road' plays a huge factor, or anything...Ferrari drivers? In it for the reliability, that 'I'm surely going to get this thing home, and at a surface temperature of less than 1,000 degress' factor.

Oh, and they're HEAVY. Because you blew Colin Chapman behind the paddock at a track meet back when, or read that person's account of it, there will no longer be any such thing as a 'peformance' car weighing more than 2500lbs, even though, they all do. The AWD Lambos that weigh 4000lbs plus, the oh-so-svelte Gen 5 GTR, they can't turn a lick and will only ever be good for drag racing with that kinda curb weight, amirite?

Or, have fun affording those awesome European alternatives, and remember, everyone has cars just like archetypal American designs - affordable cars with segment leading 'Ring times, affordable V8 anything, those are everywhere. And consider their horrible resale value - it's not like restored Z/28s go for 6 figures, Hemi Chryslers go for half a mill or more, at auction, or anything. Nobody wants these cars, they suck, that's why it only took 50, 60, 70 years for anyone - especially if your company's name isn't Ford - to come close in sales. Consumer Reports has nothing to do with the perceived resale value at all, and the love really great driver's cars, just like we do, right? Wink with me.

I return you to 'every car design I like is perfection, and anything I don't is only bought by retards'...SADLY, I could probably go on about the utter double standard, the trite attitudes towards American cars which were oh so hip back when my dad was in high school, but even I'M tired of pointing out the bullshit at this point, so...

Andrew Seifert > bobrayner 09/07/2013 at 19:50

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The way I saw it was that the Elmiraj was a preview of what such a sedan would look like.

Cain_Robertson > GhostZ 09/07/2013 at 20:25

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Awesome does not come cheap.

I also love how, the Lexus LFA or other cars' used price is holding steady, that's proof of how awesome the car is - but because the Caddy was supposed to depreciate more, they want E63 Wagon performance for the price of a BRZ only a year or two later. Oh, the car's value didn't plummet like a stone, it must not be worth it. WTF? I'm sure someone was hoping for a repeat of the '18k dollar brand new GTO', wouldn't we all be so lucky!

I'd imagine even the 'base' CTS 3.6 wagon is a pretty kickin' ride. It's funny, people would shit themselves over a 5 series wagon with a 300hp+ engine, but in the 'modern' market it's supposedly 'meh', even though the CTS is probably a better car overall, especially when wear and tear would be factored in.

Put it this way - drove a Caravan with the Pentastar in it, friend rented it while his older Chevy conversion was being worked on. We're both into cars, had some V8/fast car experience between us and whatnot, and he was like 'dude, this thing's kinda impressive'. I was like, 'really?' He's like 'certainly feels like 300hp'...having got on it a bit while following him back, I'd agree. And that's a minivan! 300 kinda useless hp, but because there's a near 600 horse variant, or someone else makes a car with X 0-60 time, they act like they're getting the equivalent of an 80's Cressida or something in performance. Ludicrous. Spoiled rotten, even.

The magazines and sites like this have us all either hypnotized or retarded, because all we can think of now is the 'best', simply being a great car isn't good enough, because you can't pass literally anything on the road with it.

Then, two minutes later, different thread, it's 'THE 110HP MIATA IS GOD!!!! 150HP E30, I JUST CREAMED MYSELF!!!"

...

Cain_Robertson > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. 09/07/2013 at 20:31

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Didn't they make a XLR-V with the supercharged Northstar? 460hp or so, of course, the supercharger leaves room for more horsepower with different pullies and/or blowers...

I'd bet there's a LS swap. Can't be harder than retrofitting it into a non-GM chassis. And there would be a market for the used RWD Northstar drivetrain, too, that was a popular motor for hot rodders even when they had to do RWD conversions on it.

LS3 and the 6 speed auto would be fairly easy and doable...GM already made all of the parts and the Vette chassis wasn't messed with too much. Of course, higher performance ones could be had, but I'd say an LS3 would be the highest output stock LS motor that would be commonly available. An LS7 is quite the pretty penny, as is the LS9, but if you wanted it bad enough...the six speed manual is probably not only doable, someone's likely already done it.

It'd be really fun to show up at a track day in a 'slow Cadillac convertible' and embarrass the unwitting :D

Hooker > Andrew Seifert 09/07/2013 at 21:01

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Instant Classic: The CTS-V wagon. Since its introduction in 2010, the V wagon has been a slow seller, even for a niche performance car. So far, it's accounted for a mere 2.5 percent of total CTS sales. It's rumored that a wagon version of the next-gen CTS may not happen at all, which means the 2011-2013 CTS V wagons could possibly achieve desirable status in the future. For now, the used ones will be gathering dust on car lots but they offer a fantastic bargain for performance wagon enthusiasts.

Paging Doug DeMuro.

0mgk14 > 472CID 09/07/2013 at 21:20

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Not true I believe. I love both companies. But their earliest cars were indeed rolls-royce competitors. Like pre WW1. Cadillac was the first car to offer an interface like what is in automobiles today. But they knew where the real money was and is still.

Darnell Robeson > 472CID 09/07/2013 at 22:23

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u should do your research. in the 1930's, 40's and 50's Cadillac made some of the most luxurious, exclusive and expensive cars in the world.

Darnell Robeson > 472CID 09/07/2013 at 22:24

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u should do your research. in the 1930's, 40's and 50's Cadillac made some of the most luxurious, exclusive and expensive cars in the world.

Darnell Robeson > Andrew Seifert 09/07/2013 at 22:36

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Caddy will probably be my favorite brand once the transformation is complete. Unlike a lot of modern luxury brands, Cadillac has a long, storied past. They once truly were The Standard of the World and they have a strong desire to be that again. With New GM fully understanding that a great Cadillac makes a great GM, they will undoubtedly become a desirable, world-class brand very soon. Haters and nay-sayers will respect them soon.

boxrocket > Seitz 09/07/2013 at 22:52

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Ye. This. Mazda is the best automaker for Jalops. They make what we want (no RWD diesel manual wagon yet, but FWD diesel wagon likely coming soon, and still a hoot to drive), they own one of the more challenging non-Nordschlieffe racetracks out there, the cars are affordable to more people (why anyone would want to pay over $500 a month for a caddy is mind-boggling; Jag, Range Rover, Porsche, M5, Aston Martin Vantage, sure, but a caddy?) leaving budgets for tires, groceries, vacations, etc. Caddies are also horrendously overstyled. Not as bad as Pontiac or Mitsubishi in the '90s and '00s, but too many sharp creases to try to force character where it's really a jumbled mesa that looks like a kid doodled it and his only tools were a protractor and crayon. I appreciate the capabilities of the ats and Cts and the V cars, but they've never held any appeal to me.Especially with the rapper-liscious escalade in the same showroom.

MDP310 > TheSmokingTire 09/07/2013 at 23:18

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REALLY stupid. But the number guys who didn't know shit about cars all thought "we can't have our most powerful car be not-a-Corvette!"

GrauGeist > Andrew Seifert 09/08/2013 at 01:32

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Based on the Elmiraj / Ciel split on the same platform, I think we can reasonably expect the new CTS coupe to be more of a lower-slung 6-fighter than merely a 2-door 5-series equivalent. Expect more aggressive styling cues, lower roofline, and tighter body.

KurtBroz > AlwaRightAllTheTime 09/08/2013 at 01:53

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Soon...

random001 > Cain_Robertson 09/08/2013 at 06:42

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You, sir, have won the internet, and my heart! You get a wiper tip from both my Z06 and my CTS Wagon. Bravo, sir!

cyk > Cain_Robertson 09/08/2013 at 09:18

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+1

472CID > Darnell Robeson 09/08/2013 at 09:55

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Can't find much in the way of really old Rolls Royce pricing so go ahead an prove me wrong. In 1961 a Rolls Royce Silver Cloud cost $15,600 a Cadillac cost $4800-9500. With the exception of the as mentioned '57 Brogham Cadillac certainly did not compete directly with Rolls Royce post-war. Some of the pre-war top end models might have been comparable to Rolls Royce, but the world of 1930s luxury cars is so far removed from today's world that it's barely worth mentioning.

Analyticus > Cain_Robertson 09/08/2013 at 13:48

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COTD. You win. This is epic, and utterly truthful. Thank you for wearing out your keyboard, and our snark meters, with this brilliant piece of writing.

crankaholic > Cain_Robertson 09/08/2013 at 20:59

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You sir, win the best comment on Jalopnik award! Please collect the keys to a black-diamond CTS-V Wagon with a manual transmission at your nearest Cadillac dealership... all you need to bring with you is a small fee of $70,000!

ZGuy > Andrew Seifert 09/10/2013 at 20:36

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Absolute truth in thought and expression! I've been ranting your rant up here in Canada for years, people just don't get it!

How odd is this but my Z06 and CTS wagon thank you too for writing what needs to be read on this soul-less internet!

ReformedHoon > Cain_Robertson 09/11/2013 at 12:52

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Well said.

Cain_Robertson > Analyticus 09/11/2013 at 21:00

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I just think it's all a bunch of stuff most of us know already, personally...I've just never seen it all in one place before :D

Scott > Cain_Robertson 09/15/2013 at 23:26

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Agreed 2. Fantastic rant. Dennis Miller (back when he was fun) would have been in awe. "Cars built by people that don't like cars for people that don't like cars"! Ha!

Cain_Robertson > Scott 09/17/2013 at 19:33

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I'd really love to get my comedy chops down and head out into the world as a worthy successor to the Carlin/Hicks/Miller/Black angry ranter type...I've got the RANT down, for sure, just need to dial in more laughs!

Thanks for the compliment. I'd love to write for this website or another type of auto publication, but it's like being a paid comedian, a rock star, a model, an actor...lots of people would love to do it.

Maybe I should get back to writing on my little auto blog... actuallysmartcarblog.blogspot.com